30 Things I’ve learnt – Part XIV

Ok, this will only count as one thing, even if it is a list:

Follow the rules of gym etiquette

Now, these are purely subjective and don’t have anything to do with actual workouts or fitness, but they annoy the hell out of me so I’d appreciate it if everyone stopped doing them.

Also, these are all real things that I’ve seen/experienced in the gym.

  • Don’t talk to me
  • Really. If I know you, then a nod of the head will do. Maybe a passing ‘Alright?’, but nothing more. I am sweaty mess in the gym, no-one needs to acknowledge that they’ve seen me in this state.

  • Don’t talk on your phone
  • Unless you’re waiting for a very important call, from say Barack Obama or Chuck Norris, then you don’t need your phone. Although Chuck would probably like to know that you’re working out when he rings. Then he’d roundhouse kick you in the face for answering the phone instead of concentrating on what you’re doing.

  • Don’t take one of everything
  • There’s no need for you to have one of each dumbell, a step, a bench from another piece of equipment, and a bosu ball. You can’t possibly use them all at once and you’re depriving almost everyone else of a whole set of anything.

  • Don’t turn up in a big group
  • I understand if you need some company to the big, scary gym, or want a training partner, but surely 2 of you is enough. 6 people turn up together? Then take turns on a machine? And shout at each other from the other side of the gym? Go to a pub and take turns on the pool table instead.
    Actually, don’t monopolise that either.

  • Don’t stand next to me at any of these:
    • Toilet
    • Treadmill
    • shower

    (Side note: this appears to be a list, within a list, within a list. It’s like the Inception of blog posts.)

    Seriously. Follow the urinal rule. Do not stand next to someone else if there’s a free spot which doesn’t require you doing so. I may get my aim wrong at the toilet, flail wildly on the treadmill, and punch you in the face if you get too close in the showers.

  • Don’t dance
  • Mainly because the music in the gym to which I go is shit.

  • Don’t drop the weights
  • If you can’t put them down properly, don’t pick them up in the first place. End of.

  • Don’t Lift your shirt/vest to admire your muscles in the mirror
  • Yes, I’ve seen this. Did you seriously think there was even one person who thought, ‘Wow, what a great body!’ Instead of ‘Wow, what an absolute fuckwit!’. They didn’t. Muppet.

Mainly, just try to be courteous. Or rather, have a think about what would piss Aled off. Then don’t do it.


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