When you think you’ve had enough to drink, you’ve already had too much.

You know the scene. You’ve had a couple of (ok, a few. Ok, lots, stop with the assumptions now, alright?!) drinks, at a party, in the pub, on your own at night with the curtains drawn, wondering what happened to your life, when you realise that your head is a little wobbly. Or your legs aren’t quite taking you in the direction your head had in mind (‘head’ had ‘in mind’, geddit?! I’m here all week).

So, anyway, you’re in that place. You think that now would be a good time to get a glass of water and perhaps retire for the evening. It doesn’t really matter from that point on. Whether you ever get to the tap, or get distracted by the shiny cans in the fridge on the way, it’s too late. The stuff you’ve just drunk probably won’t have made it to your bloodstream yet, so you’re only going to get drunker.

From here on in it’s anyone’s guess as to whether you just wake up with a worse hangover than planned, recall having an argument over something trivial or wake up, with no recollection of having travelled there, in Newport.

The trick is to identify the point, roughly 2 pints previously, at which you were merely merry and enjoying the party. I’m fairly sure there’s a Nobel prize available for the person who discovers how to do this.

I’m just glad nobody used Facebook when I was in university. Any future employers, please be assured that I was thoroughly respectable and virtuous at all times. Phew.

In the grand tradition of ‘fake it ’til you make it’, if you look like you know what you’re doing, people will generally assume that you do. This should obviously not be applied to any sort of surgery, or aircraft piloting, where those with the relevant knowledge, experience and skills should be used unless it’s an absolute emergency. And the A Team is unavailable.

However, in day to day life:

Acting confident = Being confident

If you are not a confident person, but walk down the street acting as if you do not give a single fuck, people will assume this is true. If you pretend you’re wearing a cape (metaphorically, rather than literally. You wouldn’t actually want people mistaking you for Batman, now would you?), you will respond to situations as a supremely confident person would.

And is this really any different to actually being confident?

Anyway, he is credited with having said:

Gwnewch y pethau bychain.

Which translates as:

Do the little things.

No, that’s not a euphemism.

I take that to mean, do the little things for others. Like opening doors, smiling, realising that it’s not all about you and noticing if someone’s having a bad day and giving them a break. That sort of thing.

Remember when that person commented on how nice your hair looked, or that it looked like you’d lost weight, or a stranger offering you a hand onto the bus when you were struggling with bags? How you thought it was a lovely thing to do when, really, it took next to no effort on their part?

Not all gestures have to be grand. But you can easily make someone’s day by doing something small.

No one is thinking/speaking about you as much as you think they are.

Indeed. Yet I still sometimes assume (always a troublesome thing to do) that people who are whispering amongst themselves are probably doing so about me. That I’ve done something wrong of which I am unaware.

But that’s something I’m trying to do less because worrying about it isn’t helpful, even if they are!

I mean, if you’re chatting to someone right now, then they probably have you in their mind a little. Or if you’re doing a naked dance in front of someone then they’re almost definitely not thinking about much else. If they are, you’re probably doing it wrong.

I’m almost certainly not thinking about you at this very moment, I’m more likely thinking about sandwiches. And I doubt that any major terrorist groups are thinking specifically about you. So that’s probably a good thing. Unless you’ve recently submitted an application form to become a member of one.

In other words, don’t worry about it.

I should reference How To Get A Grip here, as that’s where I read it first. It’s also a good read, if you like that sort of thing.

Now, these are things that are true for me. They may not apply to everyone (some do) and are almost definitely not backed up by any other research (again, some obviously are) other than my own subjective views, thoughts & experiences.

Some will be glaringly obvious. some will be philosophical (ish). Some may possibly make no sense, mainly as, currently, I have about 23 of them thought through.

So, we’ll begin with number one:

Smoking is bad for you
(See, I told you some would be glaringly obvious)

No arguing, it just bloody is. You may search the web for your own statistics on this one, there are plenty. But if you want to die, of a multitude of different diseases (maybe not all at the same time), and before you would normally do so, then smoking’s the way forward.

Yes, it looks cool. Yes, it can relieve boredom. Yes, it’s difficult to give up. But, you’ll stink, possibly make others ill and will die sooner having a crappy last few years of your life to boot.

Just say no, kids.

Coming up: even more pearls of wisdom!

2012?

Well, for starters, I’m going to turn 30. That’s some sort of a milestone, I’m sure. I’m also going to be best man at the marriage of two of the best people I know. I am very excited about that.

Resolutions?

Well, I spent the last 6 weeks of 2011 getting fat & unfit. So I shall spend the first couple of months of 2012 trying to rectify that. I’d like to be in the best shape of my life (not too difficult!) by the time I’m 30, at the end of February. With this in mind, I’m going to commit to going for a run at least once a week. I miss running, so by stating this small aim, I’ll be able to stick to it. Hopefully it’ll be more than once a week, but once is definitely manageable.

I’m going to take everything slower in 2012. Be less of a glutton. Enjoy things. Remember to breathe. Waste less time. Do the things that matter. Stop doing things that don’t. Walk more. Spend more time outdoors. Make more decisions quicker, but care less. Drink water. Enjoy beer.

I think that’ll do for starters.

Enjoy the new year, folks. That’s all you have to do.

Have fun.

Al

You know when you were little? Were you excited about Christmas because of the presents? Or the general fun of the day? Knowing that, for the most part, everyone was going to be in a good mood and willing to have fun. People not taking things too seriously and not worrying about their ‘problems’ too much. Obviously here I’m talking about us who have relatively few problems compared to those in war-torn and famine-ravaged countries, for whom Christmas could quite easily pass by without presents, a meal, or even family.

Of course, there is the general stress leading up to Christmas. Have I got X enough presents? Will there be enough sprouts to go around? Will the turkey be cooked to perfection?

Does that all really matter? The best bit, for me, is the festive spirit that  seems to come with Christmas. Or rather, that people seem more willing to adopt at Christmas. People seem more aware of charitable efforts around Christmas, with gifts being in the form of donations to charities, a collection of food for those less fortunate, or just chucking a couple of quid left over from shopping in a bucket being held by a volunteer.

I guess my point in all this is that it shouldn’t just be at Christmas that people are nice to each other. It shouldn’t be the only time we think of others. Equally, we shouldn’t get so stressed about any single day, or put pressure on ourselves or others.

I think Derren Brown put it rather more eloquoently than I could:

‘To talk secularly of Christmas being a time to remember others, then, does rather anaemically miss the point, but it is certainly as good a time as any other to rise to the challenge of leading a kinder, lovelier life – one that stretches far beyond the encouraged sentimentality of the holiday period.

As ever, the journey is the thing, and should be enjoyed accordingly. To forgive purely because it is nicer to forgive, and to do so when it’s a tough call; to try to speak only kindly of those we know because it is preferable to do so; to enjoy the successes of others because living thus is more enjoyable than the stress of living resentfully: such kind things make us better, lovelier people. And to try to live this way for its own merits, without invoking a supernatural reason for doing so, is to celebrate our humanity and to give kindness back its teeth.”

So, enjoy Christmas everyone. But don’t make it the only day that you do enjoy. And don’t make yourself sick trying too hard either.

Al

You can stop being jealous now. Actually, after the holiday I shall have no money and only 18 days leave to last me until next December, so it’s not all good news!

After the South African holiday which was faily meticulously planned, we’re pretty much winging this one! So far we’ve booked the flights, a hotel for the first 2 nights, a campervan and tickets for 2 rugby matches! I have been looking at our map of New Zealand for a bit, but that may just have been due to my unhealthy obsession with maps.

So. Vague plan:

• Fly into Wellington.
• Pick up Rugby tickets.
• Watch Wales beat South Africa in our opening World Cup match (optimistic but not fantastical!)
• Get campervan
• Drive through the North Island
• Maybe catch another match at some point, if our route coincides with any others
• Get to Hamilton
• Watch Wales beat Samoa (realistic)
• Go to Auckland for a few days
• Fly home

Also I’ll have to go for a few runs whilst we are there (I know it didn’t happen in South Africa, but I’ve got the Men’s Health Survival of the Fittest race a week after we get back and the Cardiff Half Marathon 2 weeks after that, so I have to do something over there!). We are also going to visit a few of the Lord of the Rings sites including, possibly, camping at the foot of Mount Doom! Awesome!

So two more sleeps (possibly filled with dreams of hobbits playing rugby in a campervan) and we’ll be off!

At no point did we get mugged, or killed. In fact, while we were there, the South African government were advising people not to travel to the UK! Something to do with riots. Or something. I was being all busy drinking and playing with tiger cubs.

I managed to do everything I’d planned out there, apart from going for a run! I think for the first 4 days we said ‘Shall we go for a run tomorrow morning?’, then we stopped deluding ourselves! There was so much to do, and so much to drink, that getting up early enough to run before doing anything else was not really going to happen.

But we went to the wedding, a wonderful affair. We couldn’t have asked for better weather, the lady conducting the ceremony managed to lose her speech in the lake which added some humour to the day, and I’ve never been to a wedding in such close proximity to a bar! Inevitably the later the night wore on, the crazier the dancing became, but luckily, no-one was injured in the process!

We climbed Table Mountain. Amazing. A tough climb up Platteklip Gorge, then a walk across the top to Maclear’s Beacon, which is the highest point on the mountain.

And there was a pub at the top!

We went on a wine tour, where we drank a lot of wine and learnt a lot about the process (and how they use roses as an alarm system for diseases. See? I listened!). We also saw a lady open a bottle of bubbly with a sword! Health & safety doesn’t take much of a priority in South Africa, as it turns out.

We went to Robben Island. Fascinating and horrific. It struck home when they told us how apartheid was abolished 17 years ago. It seems like something that happened decades ago, not in our lifetime. The boat ride there and back was exciting though, 5 metre swells and waves coming over the deck (on which we were standing)!

We saw a lot of wild animals. I ate a lot of wild animals.

We met some lovely people, jumped in very cold pools and seas, visited deserted beaches, went to the Cape of Good Hope, tried our hands at haggling in a market, successfully transported a decorated ostrich egg home, and I sat on an elephant!

So now we’re back for 3 weeks before we go to New Zealand! Might as well wash the clothes we took and put them straight back in a suitcase!

Excited? Moi?

Things I am hoping to do:

• Go to my friends’ wedding. Which is technically the reason we’re going to South Africa in the first place! They’re getting married on a lodge (safari, not masonic) on which we’ll be staying for a few nights. Amazing.
• See some wild animals. Proper ones, not just stray cats. Some lions and tigers and bears (Oh my!). Well, maybe not bears. I’m not sure they have them in Africa.
• Climb Table Mountain. This is something I really, really, really, really want to do! But it is dependent on: a) other people wanting to do it with me as it may not be safe as an individual and b) the weather being nice. Apparently, if the cable car runs, then it’s ok to walk.
• Relax
• Go for a couple of runs. Seriously, how awesome would that sound, ‘Yeah, I went to South Africa, went for a run on the beach, I’m cool like that…’? Three of us (who are all doing the Cardiff Half Marathon in the Autumn) are taking our gear with us. We will have to run at the slowest person’s pace though (i.e. me).

Things I am hoping not to do:

• Get mugged/killed/eaten by said wild animals. Or mugged/killed/eaten by anything else, come to think of it.

We’re flying overnight, so I should be able to sleep and then wake up fresh in Cape Town. However, I do tend to get rather excited on planes (Free food! Films! A MAP!), so I’ll have to be disciplined and make sure I get some sleep on the way over.

Anyone been? Any tips/advice?